A Veil Between Worlds

The veil is lifting.

I am slowly emerging from the fog.

A couple of weeks ago, I felt like I was ground zero day 1 all over again. Grief wrapping me up and taking me to the depths. And by depths...I mean the darkest days. Not wanting to get out of bed. Not wanting to be social. Not wanting to eat. Not wanting to smile. Not wanting to live. I know I am meant to visit the depths but I am not meant to live there...choosing my own fate is not a part of my story.

“Darkness has its teachings.” I hear over and over. They say rock bottom will teach you more than mountain tops ever will. I scoff as I read that...As if I was to learn from those moments of shell-shocked sadness and pain... But deep down, I know I will... but why did it have to come at such a cost?

I think the biggest understanding recently that has come out of those depths was an awakening of my soul to timelines and pressure. The experience I had, the loss we have suffered, is not making me race to a place of other’s hustle and grind. If anything, it’s showing me more depth within the stillness. I am not meant to jump back on the hustle train of figuring out my purpose, passions, personal development or pursuit of happiness. I am simply meant to exist at this time and trust that what is meant for me will come. Plus, hellooo, anyone that knows me knows I do things on my own schedule and intuitively...always have. (Hi, that's the projector in me)

I have allowed so much fear of judgements and doubt to cloud me and circle around me trying to take me down but it is not part of my story to succumb to the thoughtless words others speak without understanding their detriment…It is a part of my story to fearlessly share my story from courage and bravery as to inspire others.

As I begin to see through the fog,

This is the pain that changed me. I am not who I once was. For me to think I am, is a distraction within itself. Admitting that has allowed me to move from feeling lost to welcoming redirection in the pause.